Trump Talks

I blinked and Trump draws.  It’s the simplest, yet most mesmerizing Twitter feed maybe of all time.  Don’t blink, or he will draw again.  @TrumpDraws


Amazon Everywhere

Amazon Lockers are popping up everywhere.  To include Trader Joe’s and Seven-11 (or 7-Eleven; or 7-11) – noteably only 25 yards from one another.  Then.  Then, I saw one of these locker boxes at Safeway, shit you not, less than a 1/4 mile away.  So, here’s what I’m taking from this… People in my neighborhood are getting Amazon boxes stolen off their front porches en mass – in this case, defined as gross tonage.  I blinked and woke to find I don’t know what I’ve ordered, I don’t know what I have, and I feel violated by the big yellow locker boxes.

A death in the family

Nothing alerts you to the concept behind The Blink the way a death in the family can and does.  Even when the passing family member is in her 90s and has been sidelined by dementia and other elderly conditions that contributed to her inditement in hospice.  A surprise of this nature alerts you to all of the many months and years you missed while blinking.  Especially when “grandma great” lived in the far off land of Ohio.

It is to “Grandma Great” I say godspeed. There is a big lounger in heaven waiting for you where you will reacquaint with your husband of many moons, someone I never had the good fortune of meeting.  Enjoy his company.  Enjoy watching your gaggle of great grandchildren grow and exceed your every earthly expectation. Enjoy remembering and knowing their names again.

We will cherish your life in rememberance with photos and pictures we were able to take of you and with you over the last few years on our regular hauls to Ohio.  You leave behind 3 sons and a daughter.  I plan to take care of your daughter as if she were my own mother in law.  Which, as it turns out, she is.  Godspeed Grandma Great!

Dinner is served

I can’t tell if I have always liked cooking, if I have fallen into being the family cook out of necessity, or if it is a new hobby that I actually enjoy.  Or, all of the above and maybe more?  As the husband/father, I have always felt the need to provide – I’m wired that way, and that extends to over-engineering and over-supplying home remedies, solutions and honey-do’s.  Anyway, I find myself growing out of recipes and meal solutions I never knew I knew.  Make sense?  I blinked, and became the family cook.  I blinked again, and I need new recipes.

Anyway, I think cooking is a new hobby now.  Tonight will be a roasted beef tenderloin (cooked at 425 degrees for 30 or so minutes), supported by baby arugula (with 1/4 cup olive oil, 1/2 lemon, and fresh shaved parmigiano reggiano), and organic french baguette (oh, with some whole foods creamy and dreamy horseradish sauce).  I call it Fancy L’il Open-face Steak Sammiches.  The kids will eat the steak as strips or cubes of steak, with Annie’s mac & cheese.  Healthy enough for kids who are super picky and overfed carbs, white flour carbs, and melted cheese.  I think maybe some asparagus for the adults (me and my wife) sounds nice.  Crack up the extra kosher salt and pepper please.  I’d be grateful for a great easy going and not too expensive wine recommendation. Send me new recipes or meal ideas as well.  Thx.

Who’s kiss is it now?

When was the last time you kissed your wife?  I have been married almost 15 years – 2 kids, lots of work, plenty of real life mixed in – and for me the last kiss had to be more than 2 years ago.  Don’t get me wrong, there are pecks delivered to lips and cheeks and foreheads on a weekly basis – but, when was the last “more than a peck” but “less than a mashing” for you and your’s?  PS. can you imagine what it would be like to makeout with your wife on say a monthly basis?  I am envious of those of you who do – if you even exist.  I am madly drawn to my wife in this way (physically, sexually, intimately), but over the years it is obvious that we blinked, and now it is gone.  Advice?