Is playing footsie a slippery slope to sex? Not always. Rarely. But, in a loveless marriage – one that features zero sex – footsie is an intimacy win. In this case the husband initiates the foot contact and the woman has to accept that it as a non-lethal intimacy advance but one that signals physical needs far beyond feet warming and rubbing together. It is a wicked dance. Momentarily the husband believes this might lead to sex. Then it becomes obvious that footsie is the new sex. When did that happen? Great example of The Blink manifesting before your eyes.
When one parent drops the daughter off at gymnastics and the other parent secures an early evening/dinner playdate for the son. And you look up to find your partner standing across from you in the kitchen staring at her cell phone – likely Instagram or Facebook, but secretly wondering if Ashley Madison still exists or if your buddy from work might send a screengrab from Tinder – and you ask meekly, “should we grab a drink together and catch up?”
It’s the most anxiety you have felt in weeks or maybe months. Asking her on a date, kind of, will surely get rejected by the notion that she has more important tasks ahead of her after blowing through a bunch of FatJewish posts on Insta. Like laundry. Or, moving book fair commitments onto the family calendar. Surely, more important tasks loom. But then she meekly retorts, “sure.”
Feeling marginally more confident you move into over drive, “okay, well let’s hit it.” A few minutes later you pull into a neighborhood bar that you are pretty sure your wife has said previously that she has no interest in. Oh well, let’s see where this goes.
If you are familiar at all with the above scenario, then you know this date ends in an argument. Which, on this fateful night, it did not. We spoke about the concept of The Blink. It was reassuring to hear that my partner not only understood the concept but felt the same way that when life happens and you blink it all changes and sometimes it is hard to remember how we got to where we are or how to get to where we thought we were going.
Where we are going is so uncertain. Our relationship is so far out on the rocks it would appear unsalvageable if it were a water painting depiction of our marital state. But alas, just by putting our woes in the context of The Blink we found a mutual piece of ground where we could both gain comfort in our discomfort. Our mutual lack of confidence about ourselves was revealed. It may have been the first best step in saving what we had and building out a plan for what we both want.
I blinked and Trump draws. It’s the simplest, yet most mesmerizing Twitter feed maybe of all time. Don’t blink, or he will draw again. @TrumpDraws
Amazon Lockers are popping up everywhere. To include Trader Joe’s and Seven-11 (or 7-Eleven; or 7-11) – noteably only 25 yards from one another. Then. Then, I saw one of these locker boxes at Safeway, shit you not, less than a 1/4 mile away. So, here’s what I’m taking from this… People in my neighborhood are getting Amazon boxes stolen off their front porches en mass – in this case, defined as gross tonage. I blinked and woke to find I don’t know what I’ve ordered, I don’t know what I have, and I feel violated by the big yellow locker boxes.
Nothing alerts you to the concept behind The Blink the way a death in the family can and does. Even when the passing family member is in her 90s and has been sidelined by dementia and other elderly conditions that contributed to her inditement in hospice. A surprise of this nature alerts you to all of the many months and years you missed while blinking. Especially when “grandma great” lived in the far off land of Ohio.
It is to “Grandma Great” I say godspeed. There is a big lounger in heaven waiting for you where you will reacquaint with your husband of many moons, someone I never had the good fortune of meeting. Enjoy his company. Enjoy watching your gaggle of great grandchildren grow and exceed your every earthly expectation. Enjoy remembering and knowing their names again.
We will cherish your life in rememberance with photos and pictures we were able to take of you and with you over the last few years on our regular hauls to Ohio. You leave behind 3 sons and a daughter. I plan to take care of your daughter as if she were my own mother in law. Which, as it turns out, she is. Godspeed Grandma Great!